The Realities of Returning to Work After Maternity Leave: What Moms Want You to Know

Returning to work after maternity leave isn’t just about updating your LinkedIn, dusting off your work wardrobe, and diving back into meetings. For many mothers, it’s an emotional rollercoaster filled with guilt, anxiety, and identity shifts—sprinkled with moments of empowerment, growth, and rediscovery.

In preparation for an upcoming episode of the Have You Met Her Yet? podcast, we asked moms to share their unfiltered experiences about returning to work after maternity leave. Their stories were honest, raw, and surprisingly universal.

If you’ve been there—or you’re gearing up to return—this post is for you.

The Emotional Whirlwind: Beyond “First-Day Jitters”

While some moms felt excited to return to work, most described a complex mix of emotions:

• Nervousness about managing new routines

• Overwhelm from juggling work and family life

• Conflicted feelings—grateful to have a job, heartbroken to leave their baby

• And yes, even excitement to reclaim a part of themselves beyond motherhood

  
  

"I cried in my car before my first day back," one mom shared. "I felt guilty, anxious, and scared I'd forgotten how to do my job. But I also knew I needed this part of my life back."

Another mom reflected, "I didn’t expect to feel so emotional. Leaving my baby felt like I was leaving a piece of myself behind."

One mom recalled, "I spent my lunch break hiding in a bathroom stall crying because I felt like I was failing at both work and motherhood. But then a colleague—another mom—found me and reassured me I wasn’t alone. That moment meant everything."

For many, returning to work wasn’t just about leaving their baby—it was about wondering if they were leaving a part of themselves behind, too.

The Biggest Fears: Spoiler Alert—It’s Not Just About Childcare

Yes, finding quality childcare was a top concern. But the worries didn’t stop there:

• “Will my baby be okay without me?”

• “Can I still perform at the same level at work?”

• “What if my colleagues think I’m less committed?”

• “How do I juggle all of this without burning out?”

  
  

One mom shared, "I was terrified my coworkers would think I wasn’t as dedicated because I needed more flexibility."

Another added, "I worried constantly about daycare calls, illnesses, and feeling like I was dropping the ball both at home and at work."

One mom shared her heartbreak: "The first time daycare called to say my baby had a fever, I panicked. I left a meeting in tears, feeling like I was failing on both fronts. I realized I couldn’t be perfect at everything, and that had to be okay."

It’s not just logistics. It’s identity, confidence, and the invisible mental load that comes with both roles: mom and professional.

What Helped? (It’s Not Just About Perks)

When we asked moms what helped the most during their return-to-work transition, the answers were clear:

• Supportive partners and family who stepped up at home

• Other moms who normalized the chaos and reassured them they weren’t alone

• Flexible workplaces offering remote options, part-time transitions, or understanding managers

  
  

One mom highlighted, "My boss encouraged me to start part-time for the first few weeks, and that small gesture made a huge difference."

Another mom shared how helpful her village was: "My partner took on more household duties, and my mom helped with daycare pick-ups. That support meant everything."

One mom shared how meaningful small moments of understanding could be: "I had a manager who told me, ‘If you need to step away, just let me know.’ Knowing I had that safety net lifted so much anxiety off my shoulders."

But it wasn’t just about policies. The most meaningful support often came down to one thing: empathy.

"It wasn’t the formal policies that made me feel supported," one respondent shared. "It was having a boss who asked, ‘How are you doing?’—and actually cared about the answer."

Guilt: The Uninvited +1

If there was one emotion that showed up in almost every response, it was guilt.

• Guilt for leaving their child.

• Guilt for enjoying work.

• Guilt for not enjoying work enough.

  
  

"I felt guilty for missing moments with my baby," one mom admitted. "But I also felt guilty for liking my job. It’s like you can’t win."

Another mom shared, "There were days I’d rush home feeling like I missed out on everything. But over time, I realized my baby was still happy and loved."

For many moms, that guilt slowly transformed into something else: pride.

"Eventually, I realized I wasn’t abandoning my child," one mother shared. "I was showing them what it looks like to be both a loving parent and a passionate professional."

What Moms Wish Employers Knew

If you’re an employer or manager reading this, here’s what moms want you to know:

1. Flexibility isn’t a perk—it’s survival. Part-time returns, remote work options, and flexible hours aren’t just nice-to-haves; they’re lifelines.

2. Support isn’t just about policies—it’s about people. Check in with returning parents, not just about tasks, but about how they’re really doing.

3. Don’t assume motherhood equals less ambition. “Becoming a mom didn’t make me less driven,” one respondent wrote. “It made me more focused—because my time and energy became even more valuable.”

   
   

Advice for Moms Preparing to Return to Work

If you’re a mom reading this, here’s what others in your shoes want you to know:

• You’re not alone. Your feelings—whether excitement, dread, or both—are valid.

• Set boundaries early. Advocate for what you need at work and at home.

• Lean on your village. Whether it’s your partner, friends, family, or mom groups—let them help.

• Give yourself grace. “It’s okay if you cry in the car,” one mom shared. “I did. More than once.”

A few personal responses:

💬 “There are no right answers. Every family is different—do what feels right and natural to you.”

💬 “Children are adaptable; you’ll always find it harder than them. Be gentle on yourself. Lean into your support network and try to have open dialogue with your employer so you’re setting expectations early.”

💬 “Take all the time you need. You don’t have to rush back (although finances might play a role).”

💬 “It’s hard, and you can do hard things! Also, give it time and give yourself lots of grace, love, and kindness.”

💬 “Only time will make it feel better. Prepare yourself for feeling out of sorts.”

💬 “Sit down and chat with your partner about roles and responsibilities prior to returning to work—get into the details if possible! And have friends to chat with at all times! Haha.”

💬 “You’ve got this! Your child will be absolutely fine without you—allow them the space to grow and develop independence while allowing yourself to rediscover your other identities apart from ‘Mom.’”

💬 “Find the PERFECT fit for childcare for you. It makes the transition much easier to leave your baby. Stay out as long as your company allows to ensure you’ve had enough time before returning to work. Find someone to talk to, whether a friend or a licensed provider.”

💬 “It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling—happy, sad, dread, excitement… all of it. And it’s okay to set boundaries with your employer, partner, and childcare providers about what you are willing or unwilling to accept.”

The Bottom Line: You’re Not Alone

Returning to work after maternity leave isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. It’s messy, emotional, empowering, exhausting—and sometimes all of that in the same day.

But here’s the truth: You’re doing better than you think.

Want to hear more real stories, expert insights, and unfiltered conversations? Tune into the upcoming episode of the Have You Met Her Yet? podcast, where we dive deep into the highs, lows, and everything in between when it comes to motherhood and careers.

🎙️ Listen to the podcast here and join the conversation. Because the more we talk about it, the less alone we feel.